Monsters on the Bus…

If you suffer from depression/anxiety disease, staying in the moment is hard. The nature of the disease is that one is either having thoughts about the future or thinking of the past. Being in a holding pattern is a very uncomfortable position to be in. Right now I am in a medical waiting period. I am recovering from surgery and awaiting future medical treatments. The surgery has made me weak and I am scared about what will happen next. To feel so weak while I watch my beloved country loose its bearings feel like a perfect storm of craziness. My mind is in free fall. One image I have used in the past to pull myself from the edge is that of a bus driver of a group of depressed and anxious monsters. Since my monsters are very unhappy, I need to go back to basics to calm them down.

Mindfulness Mediation…notice the sensations of brushing your teeth and other ordinary activities. The goal is to bring attention to what is real in the moment. If thoughts come to me that are frightening I just start to touch my leg. You can not think and touch your leg at the same time. Next, I remind myself that for me fear of the past and the future is “false evidence appearing real”. I have a choice of whether I want to be immobilized by fear or drive my unruly monsters to a place of peace. Real life is complex enough without false fears crowding up my psyche.