Waiting

If you suffer from Depression/Anxiety disease staying in the moment is hard. The nature of the disease is that one is either thinking of the “past” or focusing on the “future”. Being in a holding pattern is very uncomfortable position to be in. However, there is another way to think about it. There is a choice between “waiting or being in the moment”. When you are “waiting” the lights are low and when you are ‘‘being in the moment” the lights get brighter. In the moment the light is bright because this is real time. The light is low in the “waiting room” because nothing is happening since it is not in real time.

When you are suffering from Depression/Anxiety, you can slip into the low voltage room very easily each morning when you wake up. The low voltage room is filled with negativity. In contrast the high voltage room is filled with what is happening in the moment. For example, one can watch the sun come up from this room.

The essential question is how does one move from the low voltage room to the high voltage room. Yesterday, I was very much in my own low voltage room. As I laid in bed I asked myself how can I get out of here. First, I did a body scan and tried to relax my body. Then I asked my Higher Power what I should do to get myself out of bed and to be present in the moment. First, I was to take a walk. I got up and dressed, but was so excited when I left the house I forgot my mask. I realized it about a block away and had to return home. Then I decided to interact with my husband and had breakfast with him. None of these activities did the trick. Next, I have a studio off the house and I decided to go out there. I started to listen to an audible book and started watching the birds in the yard. We have an owl that lives on the top of a tree. I started watching the owl and then I saw some hummingbirds. Looking at the birds moved me from my low voltage room to the sunshine.

Each day is a new challenge but worth the effort.